When Life Happens to the Healer
- therapistresourcen
- Jul 29
- 3 min read
by Britta March, LMHC-QS
As therapists, we often tell our clients that it's okay to fall apart, rest, and tend to their emotions in times of personal need. But what happens when the crisis is our own? Just like our clients, we move through seasons of grief, navigate the heartbreak of breakups and divorce, face illness, and endure periods of deep overwhelm. Yet, when we're the ones unraveling, the pressure to remain steady and available, while showing up and holding space for others' emotions, can feel relentless.
Our therapeutic role can become a kind of armor that's difficult to remove, even when we're in pain ourselves. We may battle the fear of letting our clients down, grapple with financial instability, or carry shame about needing time and support. But experiencing a personal crisis doesn't disqualify us from being good therapists. In fact, research shows that taking care of ourselves, including knowing when to pause, isn't just good for us; it's part of practicing ethically. Research has even emphasized that self-care and stepping back when needed are key to staying effective and keeping our clients safe. (1)
So, what do we do when faced with a personal crisis that makes it difficult, or even impossible, to keep showing up in our therapeutic role?
Remember, You Are Allowed to Pause
Taking a break, whether for a few days or extended for a few months, is not only okay, it's often necessary. When we push through to show up for others, we risk impairment and not providing quality client care while risking burnout, impaired judgment, and ethical missteps. If you need to take a break, stepping back is not a personal failure; it's a responsible and compassionate choice.
Advocating for Yourself Is a Professional SkillÂ
Whether you work for yourself, an agency, or a group setting, financial stability may be the most
challenging hurdle in taking a break. But that doesn't mean you're out of options. If you work in
an organization, talk to your supervisor, HR department, or a trusted colleague about support
options, such as taking medical or personal leave, receiving temporary coverage, or reducing
your caseload. If you're in private practice, this may mean setting clearer boundaries, pausing
new referrals, or coordinating with peers to transfer care for your clients.
You Deserve Support, Too
We often remind our clients that they don't need to go through hard things alone, yet we struggle
to accept the same truth for ourselves. Whether you're overwhelmed, grieving, or struggling to
transition to a new way of living after a disaster, you deserve support. This might look like
leaning on colleagues, reaching out to your community, or seeking therapy. This could also mean
accepting practical, financial help.
Organizations like Therapist Resource Network (TRN) are built on the idea that therapists,
too, need safety nets. TRN provides emergency financial relief and other support to lessen the weight of unexpected challenges, so you don't have to carry it all alone. The care you offer to others is meaningful, and you are just as worthy of receiving that same depth of support.
1. Posluns, K., & Gall, T. L. (2019). Dear Mental Health Practitioners, Take Care of Yourselves: a Literature Review on Self-Care. International Journal for the Advancement of Counselling, 42(1), 1–20. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10447-019-09382-w
Britta March, MS, LMHC-QS, is a therapist in Florida and a PhD student in Counselor Education and Supervision. She specializes in supporting adults through self-injury and navigating the emotional challenges of breakups and divorce. Britta is passionate about helping both clients and fellow clinicians access care with compassion and without shame. You can find more of her writing at hellobritta.com and learn more about her practice at marchingforwardtherapy.com.